Gross.

I'm not going to lie...I am feeling like MAJOR butthole.

Sorry mom, if you are going to wash my mouth out for that one, could you consider using soap of the non-scented variety? Thanks...

I find myself making myself sicker over worrying that I'm going to throw up. I HATE throwing up. I know that throwing up isn't all rainbows and sunshines for ANYONE, but honestly the thought of doing it actually sends me into a bit of a panic attack.

Not kidding.

I would rather die than throw up. Ever.

Seriously.

Laying in bed last night (which seems in this pregnancy to be my sickest time of day-the evening time) I was just sure at any moment the chunks would start flying. I unwillingly flew into panic mode. I could feel my heart rate just soar and that panicky skin-crawling feeling set it.

Lord, take me now please.

Ok, fine. I gave in, and decided 'I'm just going to SIT in the bathroom for a while. Not throw up, but just SIT.'

So I sat.

And sat.

And choked back any feeling of upchucking continuing to arise. Yes, I'm sure that just throwing up and getting it over with would have made things must simpler, but this girl doesn't just throw up. I wretch. And gag. And It comes out my nose.

I just wasn't ready to give into that quite yet.

So eventually, with all tummy goodies still intact, I slowly made my way back to bed and nudged John and asked him to pray for me.

That precious man laid his hand on me and pleaded with God on my behalf to spare me of the dreaded sickies and tiredness and asked that PLEASE let THIS pregnancy be somewhat of an enjoyable one for us.

I just love that guy. *sigh*

I went to sleep *FINALLY*.

I dreamed that I was pregnant with twins.