Reason #638,243 as to why we should not be allowed out in public...ever...

John came home last Friday with the brilliant idea of 'going out' to get something to eat. This made momma happy.

We (the 3.5 of us) ventured over to this little mom and pop hamburger shop in town in search of something to satisfy our grumbly tummys. We quickly ordered and found a table in the middle of the diner, where there would be no lack of things to look at to entertain Liv while eating. Miss waitress brings our sodas out.

John and I are chatting away and I here 'momma look!!'. I glance at Liv and in record time she has ripped off half of her straw wrapper, has the straw in position, and is ready to fire...

And she fires.

Right into the back of the ladies head behind me.

OMG.

I quickly turn around, realizing my face has never felt so beet red in my life and apologize profusely while groping for the launched wrapper which has now lodged itself in between the two ladies sitting directly behind me. Luckily, one of them had a great sense of humor and picked up her straw and told us 'oh, this is war!'

*whew* Law suit apparently avoided on that one...

Remember I mentioned that we chose a booth directly in the MIDDLE of the diner, where there were lots of fun things to look at? Yeah, GENIUS idea on my part...

No sooner had we avoided a straw shooting from the lady behind me, and Liv saw something across the diner on the wall that REALLY excited her.

She was SO excited about it that evidently the most efficient way to show us this said item was to swing her arm at rapid speed to point at it. Well, she swung it directly into Johns GIANT soda. Full soda. His GIANT full soda which then spilled it's ENTIRE contents all over the table and all over the main aisle of the floor.

Did I mention we were sitting in the very middle of the diner? In everyones view? Yeah, just thought I would remind you.

John and I could literally do nothing but die laughing and just stare at each other as if to silently say: 'really?! Could she possibly do anything else?!'

Oh dear.

Well, we managed to finish our meal without a hitch-Liv even ate her ENTIRE hot dog! Anyone who has a toddler KNOWS how virtually impossible it is to get your child to consume more than a few morsels before deciding that they aren't hungry/are bored/or having something really cool to talk about for the next 15 minutes.

After managing to avoiding certain death by embarrassment, we then decided to head over to our local Fred Meyer to exhaust any remaining energy that Liv may have had before bed time.
John and Liv held races up the back aisles, tried on headbands, and oohed and ahhed over the toy aisles.
We then ventured down the produce aisles to pick up a few things before paying for our purchases.
Again, in record time, we hear 'OOH! AN APPLE!!', and just as we look to see what she's talking about she seems to think the one on the VERY BOTTOM of the pile is the perfect one and she snatches out.

Now, boys and girls, what happens when you grab an apple from the BOTTOM of the produce pile? Yes, thats right, any that were sitting contently on top of said apple go rolling to the ground.

Oh, and they did.

I'm pretty sure John pulled a groin muscle with his acrobatic moves while attempting to wrangle all the fruit up off the ground before anyone could see our little fruit fiasco.

Oh golly. People, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

I mean really. WHO on Gods green earth thought up the idea of placing the bottom of the fruit display just where little fingers could perfectly pluck one juicy item from the pile. WHO?? After our little apple adventure, I came up with many ideas of protecting their produce from grabby little paws:

How about an electric fence? Nothing to seriously hurt the child, just give them a little jolt. I'm sure it's a lot less painful than their parents aching egos after cleaning up the entire spilled display. I don't know, just a thought....

I guess you could say our lives certainly aren't boring....