Funk-a-delic yo!!

So I am in a major funk lately. I mean like MAJOR.
For about the past week, I've been feeling completely unmotivated in everything I do (or don't do for that matter).
Most days this week I'm not even out of my sweats by the time John peeks his head in the front door at the end of the day.
Most days my showers have been saved until after dinner when I can have a peaceful, uninterrupted few moments to myself to shampoo my indescribably colored hair with yes, you heard it, Herbal Essence baby! There's something about having another person in the house to distract my unbelievably hyper-active toddler while I shower so I'm not subjected to the shower door flying open and an excited voice yelling 'Mommy! Sing with me! What wanna sing? A B C D Little starrrr...' . *sigh* Sure Liv, I'll sing with you while I'm standing here dripping wet freezing my patootie off....
Most days this week all I can manage is shoving the dishes into the dishwasher and MAYBE one load of laundry. (note-there is QUITE a bit more than one load of laundry waiting on my bedroom floor just begging to be washed.
Most days this week, all I want to do is crawl under the covers and lay there. I'm not tired per say, but I feel like I mentally/emotionally/physically cannot do more than wrap myself up to mummy status and lay on our newly discovered unbelievably comfortable Ikea futon. But thats not going to happen.
Most days this week I have been SERIOUSLY unhappy with the state of my body. My weight, the direction things are going (literally-ha!), the patches resembling that of a certain dairy food coating the back of my once taut buttocks and thighs....I've NEVER been one to care about my weight/body, so why when I gain a little weight should I really care now?? UGH.
Generally speaking I'm a decently patient person when it comes to my daughter. Notice I said decently. No comments from you, John you big turd! :) Really, I have to be, I'm home with her all day. But this week, the smallest things just totally set me off. I have ZERO patience. NONE. ZILCH. NADA.
Laying in bed last night in my depressed state I tried thinking about what may have set this all off? Let's see, it's been going on for almost a week now, what happened a week ago? Then, it hit me. No, not literally, (though that may have got my ass in gear a bit!) but I realized about a week ago is when the weather started getting crappy again. I'm a TOTAL warm weather girl. Anything having to do with the sun-I'm there. And I get this total feeling of euphoria after spending an amount of time basking in the fake sun we like to call a tanning bed. Am I dealing with Seasonal Depression?? hmmm.....
All that being said, my normally excitable 2 year old has this week of all weeks decided she would like to be SUPER TODDLER and rid the world of anything peaceful, quiet and still. She's actually resembling what I would envision a rabbit on crack cocaine would be like. *another sigh*
Ok God, seriously, are you just sitting up there on your nice fluffy cloud getting major chuckles out of all this?? Is my insanity HUMOROUS to you?? NOT funny God. NOT laughing down here.

Pinch it off!!!

Ok, no joke we have the dumbest fish ever. I was just up laying Livie down for her nap and glanced over at our little scaly friend and noticed he has a long string of poop approximately 6 inches or so in length just dragging along behind him. EW. John and I often comment (because we have nothing better to do) on how often this little guy swims around with poo attached to his behind. But NEVER has he had dung about 2 X's his length catching a ride on his teeny tiny tooshy. That's disgusting. If I had crap hanging off of my bum all day for the whole world to see, I wouldn't have any friends. At least I would hope that I wouldn't. Who would want to be friends with someone that wants to be friends with someone that has poop hanging off of their butt?? You get the point. Maybe thats why he's content to swim around his little fishy world by his self.
Or, maybe he's not dumb. Maybe he has some bowel issues. Either way, gross. I knew I didn't like fish for a reason. (besides the obvious fact that they taste/smell revolting....)

M-I-N, N-I-E, M-O-U-S-E!!!

*squeek squeek* (Thats mouse talk for Happy Halloween!)

So much fun was had trick or treating last night-I still can't believe I have a child old enough to carry on this candy gathering tradition. *sigh* Too weird. The best part about this being her very first year was that shes still too young to eat ALL the candy herself, so of course Mom and Dad are gladly here to help her out :)

Shoot, it's fun having a 'cute' child, they seem to get more candy than the others.....
(overheard by a neighbor) "oh your are too cute! Here, take some more!" hahaha

You go girl! You get that candy!! (and share with your dearest mommy and daddy of course)

Thuper, thankth for athking!

I swear I get more giddy about dressing up for halloween now than I did as a kid. Though there is no candy involved, there are MANY laughs.....
I hope this never gets old.....

Let this be my prayer

Dear Lord,

Please let this be a really really cold winter so that all of these seriously massive and unbelievably disgusting (no offense) spiders disappear. Thanks.

Love, Abbie

Corn and Sloppy Joes....

does not look so appealing after it has been regurgitated on the floor of the Fred Meyer paint department. Oh the joys of parenthood. We have officially been subjected to the most horrifying of all parenting experiences, yes you have probably guessed it, our daughter 'threw up' 'spewed' 'blew chunks' during store hours in our local friendly Fred Meyer! Let me take you back to how it all started-cuz everyone LOVES a good up-chuck story....

John: Livie, finish your dinner please.

Livie: I can't! (her favorite phrase during meal times)

John: Ok, then you don't get a cookie-mommy and daddy are going to eat them ALL!

Me: Hurry Liv, or I'm going to eat it all before you do!!! (no, I'm not a fatty, it's just a threat that I never carry out with because so far it has worked every time....)

Livie: *lots of laughter while racing back to the table*

This battle repeats a few times until our darling daughters plate is FINALLY clean-yippee!!

Livie receives beloved cookie. Ooh lookie there, I used beloved. I do retain learned info *sigh*

Fast forward about 20 minutes and we are moseying around said store:

Livie: my tummy hurts.

Me: I'm sorry sweetie.

Me to John: You know, I swear her tummy hurt the last time we ate sloppy joes too.....

few minutes pass

Livie: my tummy hurts.

John: I'm sorry, why does your tummy hurt?

Livie: *lots of fussing* Mommy, I want up!

Me: ok, just lay your head on my shoulder.

We are now in the MAIN back aisle of the store

Livie: *starts crying and fussing*

John: *down in her face, talking to her, rubbing her head*

Livie: *starts making this weird sucking sound with her lip and shoulders scrunch up*

Me: *whispered to John* She's going to throw up!!

John: *moves out of way before said throw up hits the floor creating the splatter of all splatters*

Was I humiliated?? No, I seriously thought it was the most hilarious thing I had ever been through in my life!! (Livie was totally fine after releasing her gut of all dinner goodies)
John grabbed the customer service phone and whispered a few somethings evidently hinting at the fact that there was a million dollars up for grabs because here comes an employee racing down to save the day. John managed to find a big roll of paper towels behind the paint counter and proceeded to at least cover it up for the sake of passerbys. All the while here comes another employee all business with his mop bucket and latex gloves making some comment like 'oh, you used paper towels?? *sigh* I was going to clean it up with the mop'. This guy REALLY loves his job.

After many 'thank yous' and 'we are so sorrys', we proceeded to walk away.

Livie: *in typical toddler volume* Whats that guy doing? Livies throw up. What's that guy doing??

Geez, rub it in Liv.

Thought for the day

Never hold your farts in.

They travel up your spine, into your brain,
and thats where crappy ideas come from.

~Author Unknown~

Hues your favorite??

Ok so you know how you have something rolling around in your head but then decide to sit down and put it on paper only to discover that no one in their right mind is going to find this as interesting as you, Abbie (or whatever your name might be; of course if you feel more comfortable using my name to save yourself the embarrassment, then by all means).


My favorite color is red. I have many runners-up, for example: yellow, browns, black, but red is my absolute favorite. I LOVE to use red as little accents in my home-(I finally branched out with the last move and our bedroom is now blues and yellows and greens). Sometimes if I close my eyes I can pretend the funky whimsical flowery pattern on our bedspread is red, but then it doesn't go with my blue cubby shelf thingies and the green older-than-dirt vases I have sitting on top of them, so I start freaking out and quickly bring myself back to reality. Life is well, everything does match.
I cannot WAIT until we own our own home where we can have a giant RED accent wall!! *sigh* For now, I will settle with my mostly neutral living area with my pretty bold red flowers hanging in buckets on the wall and my rectangular RED picture frame on the wall perpendicular to that. We used to have a 3'X5' shaggy red rug in our living room as well to kind of tie it all together, but that was disposed of in the move....whole other issue, whole other story....

Back to the 'shady' topic at hand (hhahaha I'm so clever, get it? Shady?? Red is a shade, right?? haha): Have you ever realized how many different things the color red symbolizes?? No, I'm sure you have not, because no one sits as high on the dork scale as I do, but just bare with me, it's actually pretty cool....

• Being the incredibly anxious person that I am, I was surprised to discover that the color red affects us by providing a sense of protection from fears and anxiety. I guess next time you see someone resembling a short Clifford the big Red Dog, just remember I may be having an exceptionally 'worrisome' day. Don't make fun, just sympathize and give me a treat.
• Did you know that in Jamaica 'red' is slang for someone who is under the influence or drunk. hmm.
  
• Ooh here's a good one: to the Hindu, red symbolizes joy, life, energy and creativity! There's hope for me yet! :)
• Most importantly, Red is the color of love. I should hope people feel truly loved when they enter our home whether they be surrounded by fun red accents or bright pink toys scattered throughout the house. Welcome! :)

So it appears my favorite color makes me come off as your favorite joyfully drunk 4-legged friend. I sense a change of decor in the near future......

What's your favorite color? What does it say about you??

A little something to make ya giggle:

HA HA HA HA I came across this quote tonight and just HAD to share it!

"Some people are like slinkys... not really good for anything

but they still bring a smile to your face

when you push them down a flight of stairs!!!"

Things learned at 6 am this morning....

1. Walrus' dig their long tusks into the ice while they sleep in the water so they don't float away while catching some Z's

B. Toddlers are indecisive, crabby, and cute all at the same time. Wait, I think I learned this one at 2 pm yesterday too.....

Tres. Clowns are still creepy, even if they do try and make them cute and use them to teach you great life lessons in kids shows, I still don't like them.

IV. No one in their right mind should be up this early. Ever.

Yes, there is such a thing as a stupid question....

Ok so I'm a CafeMom junkie. There. I said it. I'm nearly as addicted to it as I am to Diet Coke.
I came across this question posted by a mom who was deciding whether or not she should go au natural for her second child: "Natural childbirth does it hurt???'

WHA....WHAT??? YES IT HURTS!! DO BEARS POOP IN THE WOODS?!? Holy sweet Lord.

Please if you would just for a sweet minute, imagine this: You just bought a big beautiful ripe watermelon from the grocery store. You get it home and...crap the ONLY way to get it into the house is to try and maneuver it through the keyhole. Leave it outside? Though a nice thought, no, it HAS to come inside through that keyhole. I think you get the idea.

Yes, there are some people out there who choose to go through the adventure of childbirth without any form of relief, and I'm sure their reasons are valid and they did wonderfully and would do it again. But as someone who wanted an epidural the moment she found out she was pregnant and then discovered she couldn't even get one during the insanity of pushing this giant being out of her hoo-hoo (and yes, hoo-hoo is a word), DO IT. Do it and enjoy every pain free moment. In fact, if there is anyone out there that really does read my blog besides my mother (you are always my biggest fan) who has gone through the throes of Natural Childbirth willingly and would do it again in a heart beat, I would genuinely love to hear about your experience. What made you decide to do it this way? What are some ways you dealt with the mind numbing pain?? Are you crazy?? :)

Just sit and relax....

Whiz, pee-pee, to urinate, or my Grandmas favorite:wettie.....no matter what you call it, my daughter accomplished this incredibly feat on the BIG GIRL POTTY today for the very first time!! YIPEEE!
So what did we do? We went and bought her a fish. Not sure why we chose this of all prizes for her peeing adventure, but let me tell you, she is proud. When daddy asked her what she was going to name him her reply was 'Master Chief'. Oh lordy. For those of you who have no clue who Master Chief is, look here. Now you see why her Dad has never been more proud-being the MAJOR Halo 3 fan that he is.
Somehow I feel that when the time comes to send our new friend off to his place of rest, (which we all know will be sooner than later being he is a goldfish), the toilet will most definitely NOT be the most efficient way to dispose of him. Definitely should have thought that through more....ugh.
Good Job sweet girl, Mom and Dad are so proud of you!

Oh puhleeeese!!!

Aww. I knew I liked that show for a reason ;)

This is by far the cheesiest thing I have ever done, but ya know because of my anxious tendencies I knew if I didn't just take the stupid quiz I would be sitting here wondering which one we would have been for the next hour and wouldn't have been able to concentrate on the t.v. show we are watching...so, well, you get the idea. Just leave me alone.

Please someone else do this so I don't feel quite so lame. Please.

More Fun Quizzes at QuizPox.com

Beloved??

I had the awesome opportunity yesterday to go to a womens seminar called Selah with my mom and sister. It was kind of a mini Women of Faith kind of thing. The topic of the day was 'uncovering joy'. One word that was used quite a big throughout the day was 'Beloved'. Our talented speakers spoke eloquently about us being Gods 'Beloved' daughters. And being 'Beloved' children of God. Now this is by no means a new word to me. C'mon, I'm 24 years old, been through school, been in the world long enough to have heard it used several times throughout my life. I have to admit though, up until now, this word has kind of gone in one ear and out the other.
I found myself kind of lost in thought yesterday after returning from our little ladies adventure, going over it in my head and finally wondering, "What does 'beloved daughter' really mean??"

So, being the major dork that I am, I googled 'beloved'. Yes, you heard me, I actually looked up the definition. To my utter suprise being a beloved child of God means so much more than 'God made us and for that reason he really really likes us'.

Here's the official definition from good old Dictionary.com:
A person who is greatly loved; dear to the heart

Now, taking my self to even greater depths of dorkiness, I looked it up on Thesaurus. com:
Beloved: admired, cherished, highly-regarded, loved, treasured

I am GREATLY LOVED by God. I think the most awesome thing ever is that I am 'highly-regarded' by him! Even though I am 'just' a stay at home mom and in the worlds eyes have done nothing with my life, I am exactly where God wants me to be! He admires me as a mom and cherishes my place in this world. Thats so awesome.

Cheez-its or Jesus??

My daughter said the absolute cutest thing ever last night.
Sunday nights are usually our snack-for-dinner night. Our meal consisted of Apples, cheese slices, crackers and popcorn. Liv had been enjoying the wide assortment of delicious snacks and seemed to have walked off with some of them....

John (hubby): Liv, where did the cheez-its go??

Livie (daughter): Where did Jesus go?? In my heart.

SO matter of fact. SO true. :)